Folding nightmares!

14 Aug

In our household I do nearly all of the domestic tasks. There is one job which I really dread, either if carried out on my own or if Paul is there to help…. This is folding!

You can guarantee that at regular intervals, Paul will open the airing cupboard and exclaim at the terrible state of the towels and sheets. ‘How am I supposed to find a tea-towel in here?!’ or ‘Why do people just chuck things up here?!’ And of course no-one ever does ‘chuck things up there’ but it is just that the cupboard is so high, and I do have this problem with fitted sheets. I curse the day they were invented! Why can’t we just have flat sheets? Unless I wait for someone to help me, I end up just folding them badly on my own.

But worse than sheets and towels for folding are: tents and swimming pools!!

Now you might wonder how often there is a requirement to fold up a swimming pool, but it does happen once every summer, at the end of the season. This is what you do with a metal-framed, above-ground pool. First of all, after completely emptying and cleaning it, we take out the poles and collapse the whole thing. It is huge! Well, 15′ by 48″ to be precise. I think that folding a swimming pool should be part of army training – anyone who can fold to Paul’s exacting standards deserves a medal!

You have to pick a dry day, and if it rains you have to get out towels and mops and dry the pool again. That is my job of course………. well it is completely fair as I am the chief user of the pool. Sometimes I persuade Jess to come out and help. Her best way of doing pool drying was to put on old clothes and fling herself onto the flattened material. And if the day is really lovely and sunny, I begin to wonder why we are taking it down at all…..

But when we get down to the serious folding, the conversation goes something like this…. Okay pick up that far corner. No, not that corner, that one! 

Just mirror what I am doing; go to your left, no not right, your left!

Now don’t move….. (I proceed to walk towards him).. I said don’t move! (I thought you said to mirror what you do!)

Now can you just sweep all the dirt off this surface?…… (half an hour later) I thought you were going to sweep off all the dirt… (I did, but I think some more must have blown onto it!)

Right, put that bit in the middle…. I said the middle! (I thought that was the middle!)

Okay, now we are going to carry this over to that corner of the garden…. Go back, not forwards!

The process is similar with the tent. These items are never made completely square or rectangular…..

Funny thing is that although I often have very vivid nightmares and dreams, I have not yet had one about folding……




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